February 10, 2021
Your vows. They are monumental and special, and the pressure of making them perfect can feel…stressful. After all, you’re pledging your lives to one another, and you want the right words. The words that will stand out in your mind for years to come, as you pass anniversary after anniversary. So should you write your own wedding vows and take on yet another wedding planning task?
“As a professional wedding planner, I take great pride in providing clients with expert guidance. And while, writing your own vows isn’t essential, there are so many compelling reasons to do so. After all, no one knows their love better then the two getting married. I highly encourage couples to take the once in a lifetime opportunity to declare their personal truths and promises to one another, and not to settle for pre-written vows.”–Emily Ventura Designs
If you’re still reading, we hope it’s because you’re going to go for it! But how do you come up with the perfect testament that will stand the test of time? We have you covered. Keep reading for tips from The Wilds wedding venue, pro planners and newlyweds.
1. Look to traditional vows for inspiration: Many couples include traditional vows, or components of them, in their own writings. Look to old wedding programs from weddings you have attended, or use online examples of religious or non-religious options, and take notes on the parts you find particularly moving. Remember, you do not have to include a whole section or paragraph, instead, you can feel inspired by the emotions and ideas they bring about.
“Don’t be afraid to find examples! One of the lines in my vows was paraphrased from another bride’s vows I found and loved!”-Ashley K., The Wilds bride
2. Start with bullet points: If writing is not your strong point, you can always start with a list of things you love about your spouse-to-be. Thinking of special memories you have shared, the best moments of your life together, or other positive qualities (of which there are surely many!), can get you feeling more inspired and able to get a good list going.
“Write your vows as if you are going to be alone with your significant other when you say them. No matter how corny, cheesy, or cliche, they are your words and your moment.”-Ashley K., The Wilds bride
3. Call in reinforcements: Perhaps you know a friend who excels at writing, and who can help you turn your lists or bullet points into a narrative form that is going to work better in your ceremony. Of course, this doesn’t make it less personal, only more polished! Be sure to address this with your future spouse, because sometimes people prefer that they are truly written BY the person saying them. If that’s how your fiancé feels, remember it may be important to them, and simply have your friend scan over your vows for errors instead.
4. Remember to include some “vow” type verbiage: Although you may be writing or doing a more contemporary speech, you will want to make promises in your vows. It lends it more formality, and makes it more of a ceremony, even if your vows are not traditional.
5. Avoid inside jokes, cliches, or anything raunchy: While we are fairly sure you didn’t plan to include anything R-rated in your vows, remember to avoid any inside jokes as well. They can be awkward for your audience, and can distract from the important message at hand. If you have an inside joke or nickname for your spouse, consider writing it in a greeting card for them, instead of incorporating it into the vows. Also remember to try to match the tone and style of your spouse by asking if theirs are more formal, funny, lengthy, or concise. It may feel a bit awkward if you read a short novel while your fiancé reads three sentences.
6. Give yourself time: While some of the best poems, song lyrics and love letters of all time were scratched on cocktail napkins off the cuff, we suggest taking a bit more time in crafting your vows. One of many advantages in having time on your side is that you can have your precious vows copied to custom keepsake books, or even artwork for an incredibly special wedding day gift. Take it a step further and also consider having your pre-wedding love letter professional penned in calligraphy. Contact Creative In Bloom for these services, gifts and more!
“Do not wait until the week before your wedding to write your vows! You’ll have enough to worry about by then.”-Ashley K., The Wilds bride
Why stop at writing your own wedding vows? Take personalization one step further by reading Planning a Wedding That Reflects Your Story. Also, find inspiration from real weddings, additional professional wedding planning and more at:
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